from-the-inside-out

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Subject: From the Inside Out 1/1 Pairing: Justin/Chris, Lance/? Disclaimer: this story is completely fictional. Nsync are not gay as far as I know. I’ve got nothing to do with Nsync part from the fact that I’m a fan. All other characters part from Nsync were made up by me. Rating: NC-17 Author’s notes: the italics bits are taking from a fictional book written by one of them! It’s an AU story. There’s no Nsync in this one. Dedicated to Jaxx, Katherine, Ath and T. Feedback: hoo From the inside out. 1/1 “There were four of us; the Infant, Nurse, Hobbit and Looney. We were friends for life. We met in circumstances that were unusual for a friendship to be born and grow in, but we managed. Everything was great until that one day that I saw him. He changed everything.” The door to the cell opened and Chris Kirkpatrick blinked against the flashlight that shone in his eyes. `You all have a new room-mate. He was brought over from State; lack of room was their excuse.’ A young man was pushed inside the cell and the door closed again. Chris looked at the young man, who was shivering and had wrapped his arms around himself in a non-verbal way of protecting himself. Chris reached out with his hand. `I’m Chris Kirkpatrick, most people call me Hobbit.’ `I… My… Lance.’ A warm hand slipped inside Chris’s and Chris pumped the hand up and down a few times. He sat up and pointed at the empty bunk across from him. `You can have this one or the one on top.’ Lance looked at the empty bunk and placed his bag on it. `This one is fine.’ He sat down and wrung his hands nervously. `Are you alone in this cell?’ Chris shook his head. `Darren is on top of yours and the Infant is sleeping.’ `The Infant?’ Echoed Lance. `Justin is the youngest around here. He shares this cell too.’ Chris saw Lance ponder that for a moment. `But there are two bunks free…’ Chris lifted the blankets behind him and Lance saw a man with boyish looks, a thumb in his mouth, sleeping with an arm curled around a teddy bear. `Now you know why we call him the Infant.’ Lance giggled nervously and started to unpack his bag. He quickly took the ugly sweater that was part of the uniform off and slipped off his rough cotton pants. He crawled under the blankets, hiding his personal belongings that he had unpacked. `So why are you here?’ Lance buried himself deep under the blankets before answering Chris. `I hit a guy, he died.’ `Murder?’ Lance shook his head. `We got in a fight, I hit him, and he died of a heart failure. An EMT told me that the guy didn’t die because of the injuries he obtained in the fight but when my court case started that EMT was nowhere to be found and I was convicted of attempted murder.’ `Why did you hit him?’ Chris rubbed his nose and made himself comfortable. `He called me a fag.’ Lance whispered. `Are you?’ `Am I what?’ `Well, you either hit him because he was right and you were scared that people would find out, or you just got pissed that he called you a fag. I’d guess for the first option if you asked me.’ Lance stared at Chris. `How… Why…’ `I’ve got a good gaydar. Don’t be offended.’ Lance shook his head. `Just shocked.’ Chris wriggled a bit in bed and yawned. `Enjoy your first night here. You’ll get used to the noise and the shit soon.’ `Night.’ Chris turned around and wrapped himself around Justin and fell asleep. ** Later that night he woke up from muffled cries. He turned around to see if Lance was perhaps feeling homesick when bile rose in his throat. Darren was lying on top of Lance. His hand pushed Lance’s face in the pillow as Darren pounded in and out Lance’s body. Chris wanted to do something but it was too late now. He felt Justin curl up behind him and a soft whimper was barely audible. Chris laced his hands with Justin’s and tried to comfort the kid. Chris squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ear in a futile attempt to block Lance’s cries. He was no match for Darren. If Chris said or did something he would be next on Darren’s list. Chris just hoped that the nightmare would be over soon for Lance. ** Chris crawled out of bed as soon as he heard the first guard walking around. He quickly glanced in Lance’s bunk. The blonde man was lying against the wall, curled up with his fist in his mouth. Chris hesitatingly reached out to touch Lance but withdrew his hand. He’d better get someone to tend to Lance’s wounds. Chris knew that Darren wasn’t gentle. Lance opened his eyes after he heard Chris sneak out of the cell. He tried to take a deep breath to relax his aching muscles. This was not how he expected to spend his first night in jail. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his legs. He looked up and saw the boy they called the Infant sitting up in his bunk. He still clutched the teddy bear to his chest and had his thumb in his mouth. Lance winced when he attempted to sit up and his cry was echoed from the other bunk. `I’m Lance.’ With a slurping sound Justin withdrew his thumb. `Justin.’ `Where is Chris?’ Justin shrugged. `I hope that he will be back before Darren wakes.’ Justin had just finished the sentence when two feet swung over the edge of the bunk over Lance’s and Darren jumped on the floor. Justin pushed himself in the corner as much as he could and Lance just stared at the man. Darren was tall, ugly and looked at Lance with lust in his eyes. `My, My, look at this, two lovely young men for breakfast. Where’s your body guard now, Infant?’ Justin started to whimper and tears were falling down his cheeks. `Move one inch either way Darren and I’ll have your balls for breakfast.’ A deep voice boomed from the entrance of the cell. Lance nearly broke his neck when he jerked his head to the left to see who was talking to Darren. A tall dark-haired man stood next to Chris. `Hey, Joe. I was just teasing the youngsters.’ Joe growled. `That’s not all you did last night. I warned you the last time.’ Darren raised two hands in the air. `I never touched C again.’ `Fuck you.’ Mumbled Joe and sat down on the bed next to Lance. Lance stared at him with big eyes. Joey reached out and with a yelp Lance moved away from him. `He’s a nurse, Lance. It’s ok.’ Chris said from the other bed. Lance looked at him. Justin had all but crawled in Chris’s lap and sucked happily on his thumb, although he carefully watched Darren’s moves. Lance eyed Joe nervously but allowed him to turn him around and check his backside. `I didn’t bring all the stuff with me. Can you walk?’ Lance looked over his shoulder and nodded. He was touched by the gentleness he hadn’t expected from the rough looking man. Joe helped him up and Lance hissed as pain spread through his lower back. Joe gave him his sweater and threw Darren another hateful look. `I’m just a few cells down.’ Joe guided him out of the cell and to the left. `Can we just…?’ `We can just walk around. Enough guards here to keep an eye on things and we get certain privileges if you behave.’ Joe stopped for a cell. `Ma casa, tu casa. Or something like that.’ Lance entered the cell and saw that it only had two bunks. He shivered when he thought of sharing just with Darren. `Here, sit down.’ Joe walked to the corner of the cell and Lance suddenly noticed that there was another man in the cell. Joe tapped him on the shoulder and the man turned around. He had long dark hair and was hunched over a book or sketchpad. `C, Chris has a new room mate.’ The man slowly turned his head and looked at Lance with piercing yet friendly blue eyes. `Pretty.’ He turned around again and Joe laughed. `C has spoken man; you are Pretty from now on.’ “That’s how Pretty got into our lives. We all had done things to end up in here but Pretty, he wasn’t a jail guy. He was… He was too Pretty. But Pretty surprised all of us and he managed to settle into the daily routine. Of course he wanted to know our stories now that he had told Hobbit why he was here. It was Nurse that took us all outside on the third week and we sat down for a chat.” Joe had made a real effort. He had invited them all for a picnic that morning over breakfast. Lance was still getting over the shock of his first night in prison. He instantly ran when he saw Darren and he hardly slept at night, constantly checking if Darren was sleeping. Justin just attached himself to Chris and Lance had to giggle each time he saw the small man with the tall boy behind him. Joe had picked a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the grass was feeling warm. He had spread a blanket on the floor and placed some cups and drinks on it. `Where is C?’ Chris asked as he sat down. Justin instantly dived in his lap. Joe looked around and noticed C standing at the fence staring at something on the ground. `I think that C has spotted another rare life form.’ Justin rolled his eyes. `We won’t hear the end of this for a while.’ `C constantly wanders about and than comes back with enthusiastic tales of some species he has discovered.’ Chris explained when he saw the confused look in Lance’s eyes. `In case you haven’t noticed; C is missing a few marbles.’ Chris swirled his finger around his ear to emphasize his words. Joe came back with a struggling C who was constantly looking over his shoulder. `They’ll die Joe.’ He repeated over and over. Joe patted C’s shoulder and pushed him on the blanket. C looked around and smiled. `Pretty.’ He mumbled when he spotted Lance. Joe poured them all a drink and Lance just sat there enjoying the sun. `So Pretty here wants to know why we are here.’ Joe broke the silence after a while `Well d’oh, we broke the law.’ Justin snorted. Chris slapped Justin’s hand and sighed. `I guess that it’s only fair to tell you after you’ve told me. Shall I start?’ Chris looked around the small group of people. Joe nodded, Justin shrugged and C was lying on his back looking at the eryaman escort sky. `We’re poor. I’ve got 5 younger sisters and my mum and dad just couldn’t get enough money to feed us all. They both had 2 jobs but it just didn’t pay enough. One night I got the brilliant idea to rob a store for the money. That way we would be able to give my youngest sister a real birthday party. I got caught on camera and here I am.’ `Did you hurt anyone?’ Lance asked in a soft voice. Chris shook his head. `I got about $100 in cash and a smile on my sister’s face that I will never forget. It was worth it though. `I can be short about my story. I went to medical school, sold some medicine to other students and got busted, nothing dramatic. Just doing my time and then I’ll probably start working in my dad’s business.’ Lance nodded. He had already figured out that Joe wasn’t a man to talk much about the past. He wasn’t the kind of person that would dwell on things that had happened. `Justin?’ Lance focused his attention to the youngest person in the group. Justin was playing with the hem of Chris’s shirt. `I… He… I…’ Justin buried his head in Chris’s shoulder. `I’m sorry Justin. I… I just wanted to know. I won’t…’ Lance blushed and turned away. `The bastard hurt my sister and I hurt him.’ Justin suddenly blurted. Chris rubbed his back and said: `Justin caught his stepfather doing things to his sister that a father shouldn’t do. Justin grabbed his baseball bat and started hitting. He didn’t stop until the police finally came. Unfortunately Justin had just turned 18.’ Justin whimpered and Chris whispered something in his ear. `What about you C? How did you end up in here?’ C turned his head and smiled at Lance. `Pretty.’ He said again. `He won’t tell. We’ve all asked him and we have no clue why he is here. He just smiles and that’s it.’ Joe refilled their drinks. C got up and wandered off again. `I sometimes think that he needs to be on the psychiatric ward but he seems to be ok here.’ `Are you and C together just like…?’ Lance blushed again. Joe started laughing. `Oh god, no. I’ve got my woman at home waiting for me. C and I have been cell mates from the beginning. C took a liking to me and doesn’t want anyone around him. Well part from you three. He’s ok with that, but…’ A loud screaming was heard from the other side of the grass and Joe jumped up. Lance, Chris and Justin followed right after. Joe scanned the group of people and saw Darren in a corner. A hand fluttered past Darren and Joe started running. `Shit, Darren has Looney.’ Lance looked to his left and saw that Chris curled his hand around Justin’s biceps. `Don’t think about it, Infant.’ Chris said in a low voice. Justin took a deep breath. `He is hurting C.’ Joe had reached Darren and C and pulled the first man away. Chris couldn’t hold Justin anymore and the young man ran across the field to Joe and jumped on Darren. Darren fell to the ground and Justin started pounding on Darren’s face with his fists. Chris grabbed Lance by his wrist and yelled; `Come on.’ They reached the scene just when Joe was trying to get Justin off Darren. `Infant, he’s not worth it. Let him go.’ But Justin didn’t seem to hear him. He was releasing his anger in a blind rage. Chris jumped on Justin’s back to knock him off balance and Lance turned to C. C was pressed against the wall and his hands fluttered wildly in the air. He mumbled incoherent words and Lance didn’t know what to do. He noticed that C’s fly was open and he was missing a few buttons on his shirt. Lance knew from his own grueling first night that Darren was fast. Lance tried to get hold of C’s hands but they moved too fast. `C?’ Lance thought that talking to him might work. C looked him straight in the eyes. `Clouds are blue. There were 4, now there are 5.’ Lance blinked a few times in confusion. He reached out for C’s hand again but this time C moved away from the wall and literally danced away. `Get him Pretty. Don’t let Looney get away.’ Joe yelled from his position on top of Justin to calm him down. Lance dashed after C and grabbed hold of his shirt. `Come on C. Joe needs your help.’ C slowly turned around and smiled. `Nurse?’ `Yes Nurse…’ Lance was still getting used to the nicknames. C started to titter about the worm he had seen this morning as Lance led him to Joe. Lance noticed that Chris had finally managed to calm Justin down and he was now cradling the Infant in his arms. Joe was waving to Lance as they approached. `I’m going to take C back to our cell. Darren has been taken to the hospital ward. He won’t be back for a while.’ Lance nodded and sat down next to Chris to wait until Justin was ready to go inside. “The incident with Darren left everyone shaken. Pretty, who wasn’t used to the touchy feely routine we had going, constantly jumped when Darren’s name was mentioned. Darren never returned to his cell. Instead they decided to split up Nurse and Looney. Nurse found himself with 3 new cellmates while Looney woke up to an empty cell. All hell broke loose soon after.” Lance couldn’t sleep. Each time he closed his eyes the image of Darren pulling down his boxers appeared and he opened his eyes again. He has his back turned against the wall, the only way he felt a little safe. Darren was still in the hospital ward but Lance was scared that they would send him back to the cell in the middle of the night. Lance shifted a little and closed his eyes again. He stiffened waiting for the image of Darren to flash before his eyes. His breath was caught in his throat when he felt someone sit down on his bed. Lance opened his eyes slightly to glance at whoever sat down. He exhaled when he saw Justin sitting next to him. Justin reached out and touched his arm. `Pretty needs sleep.’ Justin traced Lance’s eyebrow in a childish manner. Lance wanted to let the boy know that he was awake but Justin pushed his teddy bear against Lance. `Teddy will keep you safe.’ The simple gesture made Lance choke back a sob. Justin crawled off the bed again and Lance buried his nose in the teddy bear. It smelled of Justin, a gentle and innocent smell of baby shampoo. Lance closed his eyes and fell asleep. He didn’t notice that Joe was moved into the cell during the night. Lance woke up early in the morning because everyone in their surrounding cells seemed to be screaming all at once. It was a mantra that echoed through the halls; `Nurse. Nurse. Nurse. Nurse.’ Lance sat up and rubbed his eyes. He was surprised to see Joe standing in their cell. `Joe?’ Joe turned around with clenched fists. Lance instantly flinched and moved away on the bed. `They came to get me in the middle of the night. I didn’t even have time to wake Looney up!’ Joe’s anger was very evident in his tone. `Can’t you go and get him?’ Lance asked in his innocence. Joe shook his head. `They’ve locked the door.’ Joe slammed his fist again the iron bars and sighed. `I just need to see him, just to let him know that it’s ok.’ The mantra grew louder and Lance had to cover his ears. Suddenly the door to the cell opened and Joe dashed out. Lance scrambled out of the bed to run after him. He followed Joe in his pajamas. The mantra was slowly replaced by a high pitched scream. Lance stood still in the doorway of the cell Joe used to stay in. C was standing in the middle with his arms wrapped tightly around his middle. He was rocking back and forth while screaming on the top of his lungs. Joe had wrapped his arms around C and tried to comfort him. Lance’s ears were hurting and he stepped inside the cell. He approached C with the greatest care. Lance slowly placed a hand on C’s arm, drawing slow circles with his finger tips. The rocking stopped for a second before it continued. Lance placed his other hand on C’s arm and started to draw the same lazy circles. Again the rocking stopped but this time for longer. Lance extended the circles to long strokes up and down C’s arms. The screaming stopped and slowly C’s tightly shut eyes relaxed and opened. His body was still extremely tense but Lance noticed that C’s arms weren’t wrapped around his body as tightly as before. Lance looked at Joe and their eyes linked. Lance smiled. `It’s ok. Nurse is here for you.’ Lance whispered in a deep voice. C tilted his head back until it rested on Joe’s shoulder. Lance moved his hands to C’s upper arms and the older man closed his eyes. Slowly but surely Lance rubbed the tension out of C. When C unfolded his arms, Lance pulled him and Joe into a bone-crushing hug as far as he could. “Nurse managed to persuade the warden to let C move in to the cell with him. After all, the Infant and the Hobbit didn’t need much space. Nurse talked for three hours straight but he managed to get five people into one cell. Looney took the bunk above Pretty and Nurse dumped his stuff on the bunk over the Hobbit and the Infant. It was like a small family. Pretty took care of them all. But he forgot to take of himself.” Life in a cell built for four took some getting used to, but they all managed. Chris and Justin were attached at the hip and Lance fussed about them not eating enough. C had calmed down after his panic attack and Joey took even better care of him now. He always made sure that C knew where he was or took the older man with him when he went anywhere. Lance suffered from insomnia. His constant fear of Darren returning to the cell kept him awake night after night. He slept an hour or so before he would wake, drenched in sweat after another nightmare. He had even locked himself in the toilet a few times to get some much-needed sleep. This night wasn’t any different. He had slept a little under an hour before jerking awake. Lance turned a few times until he heard some muffled cries coming from Chris etimesgut escort and Justin’s bed. Lance turned on his side again and pulled the covers up. Justin was moving over Chris in a slow rhythm. Their bed covers had been pushed back a little and Lance found himself hypnotized by the two sweat-covered bodies moving together in unison. Justin tried to silence Chris’s moans of passion by kissing him, but Lance could still hear some deep-throated moans. Lance sighed and closed his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to sleep again after seeing that. He slid out of bed and grabbed a towel and his toilet bag. Maybe a shower would put his muscles and mind at ease. The bathroom was empty but Lance hadn’t expected otherwise. He walked into the stall furthest away from the door and placed his toilet bag on the wooden shelf that was attached to the wall. He turned the shower on and made sure that the water was close to scalding hot before he undressed and stepped under the stream. He bent his head forward and let the water run down his back. The image of Justin and Chris kept appearing as soon as he closed his eyes. He heard the erotic sound of flesh moving against flesh echo in his ears. It turned him on. Lance ran his hand down his chest until he came in contact with his already rock hard dick. He slowly started to jerk off with the image of Justin and Chris burning behind his closed eyes. Suddenly his head made contact with the wall as he was pushed forward. `Where are your friends now huh?’ Darren’s voice echoed through the empty bathroom stalls. Lance’s eyes flew open but he wasn’t dreaming. Darren was behind him pushing him again the wall. Lance tried to bring his arms up so that he could push himself backwards but one arm was folded in front of him and the wall pressed painfully against his skin. The other was lodged behind his back where Darren pushed it higher and higher. `You know kid, life is hard and so am I. You were the best I had so far.’ Lance made a fruitless attempt to turn around so he could push Darren away but he was rewarded with a hard tug on his arm and his head slammed into the wall again. This time the sharp edge of the titles tore his skin and Lance felt blood running down his face. `It’s 5 am in the morning. No one is getting up for an hour. It’s just you and me.’ Lance felt a hand fumble at his back and he started to whimper. Again Darren slammed his head hard into the wall and this time Lance felt a wave of pain from the area near his eyebrow. Darren kicked Lance’s legs apart and Lance braced himself for what was to come. But nothing happened. Instead, the weight on his back disappeared and Lance heard a surprised cry. The tears that were threatening to spill finally descended down his cheeks as he slid down the wall to the floor. The steam in the small stall made it impossible for Lance to see what was happening and he tried to crawl away into a corner. He was sure that whomever pulled Darren away would finish what Darren had started. `Pretty?’ A voice penetrated the fog inside Lance’s head. Lance blinked a few times, trying to see through the steam. `Pretty?’ A hand touched his shoulder and Lance jerked away. `No, don’t touch me!’ `Pretty, it’s me, Nurse.’ Joe’s voice sounded so far away. Lance shook his head a few times. `Don’t. You’re bleeding.’ His head was titled to the side. `Oh man, you need stitches.’ Joe’s hand disappeared and Lance pulled up his legs to cover his nakedness. `I’ve got a towel here. It isn’t big but I have to get you to the hospital ward.’ Joe helped Lance back on his feet and wrapped the towel around his waist. Lance suddenly noticed that the shower was off and the steam was slowly clearing. Darren was lying in the stall across from Lance’s. He appeared to be unconscious. `Who? How? Did you?’ Lance pointed at Darren with a trembling finger. Joe shook his head. `Looney came to the cell in a panic and he mumbled something about the bathroom door being locked. He heard you inside and when I came here the door was open and Darren was lying there.’ Joe wrapped an arm around Lance’s waist and hauled him up next to him. `Can you walk?’ Lance nodded and held on to Joe. ** Joe placed Lance on the first available bed in the hospital ward and ran off to get a nurse. Lance touched his throbbing head and winced. The cut above his eyebrow was still bleeding and it hurt like hell. `A nurse is coming right away. I also told them to send someone to get Darren. Although it was tempting to let him lie there and wait for the rougher guys to get up and shower.’ Lance tried a smile and cringed in pain. `I’m just off to see if Looney has calmed down and to let him know that I’ve found you in one piece.’ Joe squeezed Lance’s hand. `Can you get the Infant for me?’ `Sure.’ Joe walked off and a nurse appeared beside his bed. `That needs stitching.’ She said after looking at the two cuts on Lance’s head. She grabbed the tray with the syringe and the thread and needle and started to do her work. Lance closed his eyes and bit his lip as the needle pierced his skin. `Now, that’s done. Come back in a few days to get a check-up.’ The nurse placed a bandage over the stitches. `Stay in bed for a day or two and if you get nauseous report back here.’ Lance nodded. The nurse gave him a small smile and gathered the items she had used to stitch the two cuts. A new nurse pushed the curtain aside. `You’ve got a visitor.’ Justin appeared behind her, holding Lance’s clothes. `Hey, Pretty.’ Justin was visibly shocked and he sat down next to Lance. `Nurse said that you wanted to see me?’ Lance nodded and took the clothes from Justin. `Close the curtain, please.’ Lance quickly put on his boxer shorts while Justin had his back towards him. `I just wanted to thank you for helping me out. I knew that it was you that knocked out Darren.’ Justin frowned. `I…I was still asleep when Looney came back.’ Lance placed a hand on Justin’s arm. `It’s ok. You didn’t kill him. I just wanted to thank you.’ Lance finished getting dressed. `I won’t tell Hobbit. You just did it to help me.’ Justin protested some more but Lance shook his head. `It’s ok, Infant.’ ** “Life returned to normal. The stitches were removed after seven days and the small scars were the only reminders of what had happened that morning. Darren wasn’t to be seen again. He was moved to a high security prison and Pretty was finally able to relax again, but not for long. Five would soon be four, and four would soon be three, until there was just Pretty left.” It had been raining for days. Everyone was edgy. No one had been outside for a while and being cramped up in a small cell didn’t do much good for the spirit. Little arguments were turning into big fights and every day inmates were taken to the hospital ward for treatment. The cell with the five friends was relatively quiet. Lance was sitting on his bed reading a book. C was lying in his lap with his head humming a children’s song. Joe was writing a letter to his girlfriend and Chris and Justin were stealing kisses while they were both attempting to play a card game. The peace and quiet was interrupted by a guard who entered the cell carrying a linen bag. `Pack up Timberlake. You have been released.’ Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the man. `Released?’ Justin echoed with big eyes rapidly filing with tears. `Yes, you heard me. Your sister finally decided to tell the authorities what your stepfather had done and they are releasing you.’ `But….’ Chris rose from the bed. `He has nowhere to go.’ `That’s not my problem. Now pack. You’ve got five minutes.’ The guard stepped outside the cell again. Justin broke down in tears. `I don’t want to go.’ He clung to Chris for dear life. Joe jumped off his bed. `I don’t think that you have a choice.’ `Nurse, please, don’t make me go.’ Joe pulled Justin in a tight hug. `I don’t want you to go. It won’t be long before Hobbit will be released. He only has a few weeks left.’ Chris took the bag that the guard had dropped on the floor and started to pack Infant’s few personal belongings. `Hobbit?’ Justin’s voice sounded fragile. Chris shook his head. `Don’t, Infant. Don’t.’ Looney stared at Lance and Lance touched his cheek. `He has nowhere to go,’ mumbled Looney. Chris finished packing and shoved the bag in Justin’s arms. He turned away again before Justin could see the tears in his eyes. `Hobbit, please.’ Justin grabbed his arm. `I don’t know where to go. I can’t go home. I don’t know where home is.’ Chris turned around and held Justin tight. `Maybe your mum told the warden where they live now.’ Justin shook his head. `She would have written me.’ `Time’s up.’ The guard grabbed Justin’s arm and pulled him away from Chris. `There’s no time for passionate good-byes.’ `Give me five minutes.’ Justin begged but the man shook his head. He dragged Justin out of the cell. Justin started to kick and scream and reached out to hold Chris but the guard was quicker. Before Chris could come to Justin another guard had closed the cell. `Infant!’ Yelled Chris. `Go to my parents. They’ll take you in!’ `Hobbit, I don’t want to go.’ Justin’s screams became fainter. `Tell everyone that I love them. I’ll be out soon.’ Justin’s cries faded and Chris slumped again the bars. Joe pulled the crying man against him. `He’s gone, Nurse. Gone.’ Joe moved Chris away from the bars. `He’ll go to your parents. Within a few weeks your time will be done and than you’ll see each other again.’ Chris nodded but he didn’t look convinced. A few weeks later Chris was released. ** They got a new cell-mate a few hours later. Lance was again sitting on his bed reading with C in his lap. `Oh great, a bunch of fags.’ Lance looked up and saw a new inmate standing at the ankara escort cell entrance. `Fags or not. This is your cell Todd.’ The guard left and Todd placed his bag on the bed that once belonged to Chris and Justin. Lance stared at the tall blond man. He had played football in his high school years judging from his broad upper body. Lance returned his attention to his book. `So what do you fags do around here part from fucking each other senseless?’ Lance sighed. He felt C flinch and he looked at Todd. `There is nothing much to do but fuck each other senseless. Is that an offer or were you just asking?’ Todd raised his hands. `I was just asking. I don’t swing that way.’ `Looney and Nurse don’t swing that way either so it’s just me you have to watch. I’d suggest sleeping with your back against the wall.’ C started to giggle and Lance couldn’t help smiling either. Todd gave him a weird look but he didn’t mention the topic again. One day after Lance and Joe came back from their kitchen duty they found the cell empty. A note was lying on Lance’s bed and he folded it open. `A butterfly came in and took me away. The birds are calling, the sky is blue. I saw a car today. It drove away. Todd wore the same boxers two days in a row.’ Lance looked at Joe and raised an eyebrow. `This is Looney’s way of letting us know that he was released or moved to another cell block?’ Joe shrugged. `Two days in a row?’ Lance started laughing. `It’s just you and me now.’ ** The `you and me’ lasted for three months. Lance and Joe got their own cell and made the best of it. Justin and Chris had come to visit them. Justin had indeed gone to Chris’s parents and without any questions asked he was accepted into the family. They both beamed with happiness. He had asked Chris to find out what had happened to Looney but Chris wrote him each week to tell him that Looney had vanished from the face of the earth. Joe was the last one aside from Lance who got released. He had served his time and was free to go. The small cell suddenly felt immense. Lance thought that he could hear his own thoughts echoed back to him. He had never felt more alone that the first night without Joe. Within a period of six months he had lost all his friends to the free world. They still came to visit him on a weekly basis but it was different. After the hour was over Lance watched the three men walk outside but he was still living a life within bars. Luckily for him no one tried to talk to him. They all left him alone. His new cell-mate, a tall kid with pimples, cried himself to sleep each night and Lance feared that if he had to spend the remaining years of his sentence with him he would end up like Looney. He had caught himself talking to a flower just the day before. Needless to say that he was surprised when a guard came in one day to tell him that he had been released. Someone had found a mistake in his arrest and he was free to go. Lance suddenly found himself outside the prison walls with nothing but the clothes he wore when he came in and the few things that were packed in a linen bag. He didn’t want to go back to his parents. He had no idea where Chris or Joe lived so basically he was homeless and out on the streets. When he walked out of the prison, a limo was parked across the street and the driver got out. `Mr. Bass?’ Lance nodded. `I have been sent to pick you up.’ The man opened the car door and Lance hesitatingly approached the car. `Who sent you?’ His parents didn’t have the cash to send a limo for him, and if they did they wouldn’t have bothered. `I’m not allowed to say.’ Lance took a deep breath and stepped inside the dark car. The driver closed the door and Lance sat in darkness. `Hello, Pretty.’ A light turned on and Lance stared at C’s smiling face. `Looney?’ Lance dived forward and hugged the man. `Where have you been? Chris and Joe have been looking everywhere for you.’ `I had a project to finish.’ C pushed a button and said: `Samuel, take us back to the house please.’ `You talk differently.’ C ignored Lance’s remark and pulled a book out of the bag lying on his lap. `I brought you something.’ Lance took the book and looked at the cover. It was a picture of an empty cell with the words “From The Inside Out” written across the cover. `Read the back.’ Lance turned the book over and started to read the back. I had given up on love. It was possible to start and deepen a friendship inside the prison walls, but love? No, that was impossible. Until one day I saw him and I could only utter one word: Pretty. `You wrote a book?’ C nodded. `But… I thought.’ `You thought that I was crazy. Crazy people can write books, Lance.’ Lance’s mouth fell open. `You’ve never called me Lance before.’ C shrugged. `It’s our story. The story of five strangers and a friendship that grew inside the prison walls. They all think that it’s fiction.’ `They?’ `My agent, my publisher, my parents. There are five people that know the truth.’ Lance’s head was spinning. `Who are you?’ C titled his head to the left. `My name is Joshua Chasez. Everyone calls me C.’ `Why were you in jail? What did you do? How come you’re inside a limo?’ Lance fired his questions one after the other. C pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and showed Lance a picture. `See this man?’ `That’s you.’ C shook his head. `This is my twin brother Tyler. Tyler is mentally challenged.’ Lance’s eyes grew big. `Tyler met a few people he thought were his friends. But they only used Tyler for the money. My parents always treated us the same and we got the same allowance. Those friends were always causing trouble around town. I told Tyler many times not to get involved with them but he was just so happy that he had friends. One day they set fire to a house not knowing that a grandmother and her two grandchildren were sleeping upstairs. They died in that fire. Tyler’s friends told the police that he had set that fire.’ C rubbed his face. `Somehow they believed his so-called friends. Tyler was arrested and sentenced to life in prison. Our lawyer tried to convince the court that Tyler may be slow but that he would never set fire to a house. The jury wasn’t convinced. Tyler had to go to prison.’ C turned slightly towards Lance in his seat. `I couldn’t let my brother go to jail. It would be the end of him. He would be raped or killed within weeks. I went to visit Tyler and managed to persuade him to let me take his place. Tyler walked out of the cell dressed like me and I went to prison serving my brother’s sentence.’ Lance took hold of C’s hand. `You went to prison for your brother?’ C nodded. `I would walk into a burning house if I had to. Anything to keep him safe.’ C took the book from Lance. `I wrote this while we were inside. I had to pretend to be crazy. Maybe I am a little crazy for throwing away years of my life.’ C laughed. `I did a pretty convincing job, didn’t I?’ Lance nodded. `My parents would have bought me my freedom whenever I had had enough. I almost had enough right before you came. I had been molested and nearly raped and if it hadn’t been for Joe, I would have been dead by now. But than I fell in love. You looked like an angel, big green eyes filled with fear as you stood in our cell. I stayed for you. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to know how an angel would end up in jail. But after a while my dad wanted me out. He donated a big sum of money to the prison and I was released.’ C squeezed Lance’s hand. `As soon as I was out I told the lawyers to go through your file with a fine toothed comb to find anything that could set you free. I found the EMT who told you that the guy died of a heart problem and not the blow to his head. The lawyers did the rest.’ `You got me out?’ C nodded. `An angel like you shouldn’t be locked inside.’ Lance covered his head with his hands. `I need some time to process all this.’ `I understand. My father wants to offer you our flat in New York so that you can recover and get yourself back together.’ C pulled Lance close. `I almost lost you when Darren tried to rape you again. I nearly killed him.’ Lance jerked up. `You did that?’ `The bathroom door was locked. I kicked it open. How else do you think Joe could have gotten in?’ `I thought that the Infant had done that.’ C smiled. `Justin is getting treatment at the moment to control his anger. He was the one missing a few marbles. Justin was suffering from childhood trauma.’ Lance took a deep breath. `You are in love with me?’ C chuckled at the sudden chance of topic. `From the moment I saw you.’ `I…I… I don’t know what to say. I mean, you sacrificed your own freedom to protect your brother.’ `My brother means the world to me Lance. He is my other half. I feel alone and empty without him. But Tyler is happy now. He is living in a community where he gets constant treatment and he can finally do what he wants without people influencing him.’ `You have a big heart.’ C smiled a sad smile. `But you don’t love me, right?’ Lance shook his head. `I fear that you don’t have enough love for me. Look at you. You’ve got money, a big car and parents that would do anything for you.’ `But I can’t buy what I want with all the money in the world.’ Lance stared at his hands. `Maybe you can give me something that money can’t buy.’ `Anything!’ C exclaimed. `Give me time. Time to process all this. Time to get to know the real you. Give me time to fall in love with this new you as deeply as I had fallen in love with Looney.’ C hugged Lance again. `I will give you all the time in the world. Is tomorrow long enough?’ Lance started laughing. `Maybe.’ He placed a chaste kiss on C’s lips. `Maybe not.’ The limo slowed down and C released Lance from his tight embrace. `But I’ll start giving you that time after tonight. Tonight is for the five of us. I know that there are three very impatient men waiting right outside this limo at the moment, dying to see you. Tomorrow will be the start of your time.’ Lance gave C another kiss, more passionate this time. `I’m ready to be crushed to death.’ `Samuel, you can open the door.’ The End.

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